Being born a Catholic…Catholic kids have a unique upbringing. Priests in colorful robes, Popes and bishops with miters on their heads, just like the high priests wore, worshipping Dagon, the fish god. Then you have the Catholic alter boys swinging incense, nuns in black habits screaming at you, the confessional, holy water, holy communion, confirmation, all the sacraments, the acts of attrition, prayers to Mary, genuflecting, the sign of the cross, infant baptism, and no Bibles, just a catechism. We walked into church like we were royals. Easter hats on our head and patent leather shiny shoes on our feet; and, all the boys, the boys wore suits and ties. My tall and handsome Dad always wore a Brooks Brother suit on Sundays.
When I knelt in the dark confessional booth at Saint Francis, I lied. He opened the sliding window, and asked me ” what are your sins dear child?” How the hell do I know? I’m just a kid. I told the priest, ” Father I lied 5 times. I stole 2 times. I disobeyed my parents all the time.” It was all a lie, just to get “the hell out of there.” The priest would tell me, “Go, say 10 Hail Mary’s, 10 Our Fathers, and an Act of attrition, the signs of the cross, and sin no more, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.” Then he’d do a sign of the cross and close the sliding window. The nuns forced us into this stuff. A lot of nights the same priests, either Monsignor O’Brien or Father Ring were hanging out in my parent’s living room smoking and having a glass of Scotch or what ever they drank. My parents always drank Scotch on the rocks and smoked Kent.
Then, there was the Catholic gangster kids on the playground who were crucifying each other with words, bullying, telling each other to “go to hell,” and this was in a “good” neighborhood. This is when I began to develop a great sense of humor. When you get home someone or other is yelling, “Holy Mary Mother of God,” before they mention what the problem is. Catholic, Chris Farley explained this well on SNL. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph” is always what Catholics say to emphasize to someone they’re an idiot.
There was only one black family at Saint Francis Xavier Elementary School in LaGrange Park, Illinois. Guess who the one black child is picking on in the playground during recess. I’m standing there minding my own business, when tall black, Norman Simms says out-of-the-blue, “You’re fat !” I looked at him dead in his eye at a distance of about 15 feet and said, “You’re a nigger !” He just looked at me in astonishment and stood there. He said not another word. I’m sure I never said a mean word to anyone when I was a girl. I have heart. That was the first time. Did I tell you my dad was a racist? My father had no heart. I was better than him when I was four years old. I have heart.
Teach your children how to defend themselves, parents. As adults we have to learn how to address toxic people too. Those mean kids on the playground are the future demonic narcissists. Bullies have dark spirits influencing them. Jefferson Fisher, attorney-at-law has us covered on the topic of addressing toxic idiots on Earth.
You have the Irish Catholics, the Italian Catholics, the Roman Catholics, and the centrally located Vatican Catholics. They’re all drunks. At least, my parents had outstanding cocktail parties. Hors d’ oeuvres on cocktail napkins. Caviar, lox and bagels, bacon wrapped figs and all those fancy schmancy delights self served by their guests. Everyone came dressed in cocktail dresses and suits. The entire house was full of cigarette smoke, consuming the draperies and upholstered furniture in fine fabrics from Brunswick & Fils and others. When the party was over, they rolled each other to their cars in a wheel chair my parents kept handy. They got so drunk. Thank God they didn’t have to drive far. They were sophisticated Catholics. I watched and heard it all from my upstairs bedroom window. I played my 45’s in my room to sound out the cocktail party noise. Dad would scream, “turn the goddam music down, Anne.” Did I tell you ? We are the Irish Catholics.
Growing up a Catholic kid in Chicago, we had many Catholic processions and parades. I was a spiritual-minded Catholic kid. I prayed to Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I even put money in the box so I could light a candle to kneel before Saint Christopher, Saint Peter, Saint Paul, Saint Patrick, Saint Nicholas, Saint Valentine and Saint Assisi…I knelt and prayed to every one of them in earnest. I said the Our Father, the Hail Mary and the Acts of contrition so many times over and over with a rosary in hand, counting the beads one-by-one with my fingers, then I kissed the cross, and genuflected before the alter. At night I’d look out my second floor window and pray. I envisioned the Virgin Mary was there at the top of the tree sitting watching over me.
I visualized my Catholic funeral procession in my colorful Catholic kid imagination. All the Catholic kids played funeral with me on Spring Street. The pallbearers in white suits held my casket up real high, there were my favorite elephants in procession in front, Shasta daisies in bands on all my female friends and families hair, mournful music playing, everyone weeping for me walking out of the church and down the stairs. We had a funeral for all of us kids and my bird Pumpkin too.
Then came the Jehovah’s Witness with a Bible in hand I met in NYC at age 18, who almost killed me. That was the end of Catholicism for me. Exodus chapter 20 says in the Holy Commandments, “though shall not bow to idols.” I never did again. I was now reading the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, Watchtower and Awake magazines. No more Christmas trees, Easter and other pagan holidays worshipping Eostre, the Mesopotamian goddess of fertility, love, sex and war, and no more Easter eggs and rabbits. This is serious stuff. I’m learning about God now. I had a Bible for the first time. This is the “truth,” the brothers and sisters told me. I read the little blue “truth” book. Come to find out Jehovah is God. Who knew ? Sounded good to me. Especially, when they’re saying Armageddon is any day now. It’s terrifying for a Catholic kid from Chicago to hear. Their resolution to the terror of Armageddon is “You Can Live Forever on Earth in Paradise.” the big red book. I’ll buy that. I was just a kid. What the hell did I know ? I sure didn’t know about dark psychology. It works.
When you die Catholic, they have a mass and family and friends come up and talk good about you. When you die a Jehovah’s Witness, they have a talk about living forever on earth in paradise and not much about the person who just died. They do the preaching work, no matter what. It’s a mind control cult and Watchtower wants new members and lots of donations.
Then I came to find out what was behind the curtain of the Watchtower. Jehovah is not God’s name. It was invented by a Catholic monk by the name of Raymundus Martini in early 1200’s. There were never two classes of Christians in the Bible, ever. Watchtower is trying to pull a scam on us. A governing body is a legal entity of a corporation. You don’t get to go to heaven without us governing body. You’re not the 144,000 according to Revelation chapter 7. You know why ? Your not from the 12 tribes of Israel. Watchtower is a real estate empire, hiding behind good Go- fearing people using the Bible. The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures is exactly what Jesus warned us about when He said, “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.” (Matthew 7:15-20) They’re all false prophets. All of them with their own version of Bibles, the Book of Mormon, the Quran, and the Catholic catechism. Jesus said, “You will know them by their works.” Their actions and teachings. You all cannot fool me anymore, whatsoever. None of ya. Bible in hand, I walked door-to-door. I’m sick of your B S Satan. It’s getting old, like me. I get it. The Watchers are watching. You have no chance against the God of Love Jesus. Beware of being bamboozled by cults who say they’re true, and you’re all false. Deceit.
Now, I’m getting old. I really don’t appreciate this stuff, Jesus. I have to get buried some day. I was separated from my Catholic family and my Jehovah’s Witness family and through it all, I always had you, Lord. (Matthew 10:34-39) I’ve held onto You for dear life, all of my life. You helped me through it all, and I never let You go. Did I, Lord Jesus ? I’m now, “born again.” I’m saved because of You. (John 3:3) You remembered me. You came for me. Figure something out for me now, please Lord. I have to plan my funeral. I ain’t getting any younger. Which isn’t fair, by the way.
Play my song; “She Belongs To Me” by Bob Dylan. Then play “Spirit In the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum at my funeral for starters, in case I die before I wake. I want to be buried, not cremated. Bury me next to my mother, and my ancestors, the Kelly’s at Queen of Heaven Catholic Cemetery in Hillside, Illinois. There is one plot left. I want to be there when we’re all resurrected, so i can tell my mom, “You did need God mom. You told me you didn’t need God, but you did, mom, you did. God remembered you and so will I always.”
Always Christian with so much LOVE at Anne Fisher Foundation