She completely exposed herself while conducting a Bible study with her small group of old ladies. She is married. A senior citizen. She said during a Bible study, ” I like attention from men.” I looked at her and she casually went into another subject. Boy does she ever. She appeared one Saturday afternoon at my house in a mini skirt. When she called prior, she said she was going to be playing at her local sports club and then come over. When she arrived, it was obvious she wasn’t playing any sports, but had just been to the hairdresser, not a hair out of place. She was sitting on my antique embroidered piano bench with her thighs flashing. You have to have a sense of humor.
I met this “attention seeker” when she was referred to me for legal assistance. Her daughter-in-law wasn’t allowing her to see her grandkids. Her daughter-in-law was saying she was too controlling and she didn’t want her in her children’s life. She wanted grandparent rights. After over two thousand dollars of pro bono legal research and assistance, she didn’t get any. In the majority of states, if the parent doesn’t want a grandparent in their child’s life, they will not be able to see their grandkids. Remember this.
Soon thereafter, I’m driving with her alone through the winding forest path to a Christian gathering by the ocean with the ladies from a local church I was checking out, afraid it could be just another cult. She’s driving. She proceeds to tell me that when she was a kid her mother made her be friends with a fat girl. I’m pleasingly plump, mind you. She tells me the fat girl grew up and when in her 50’s she fell and cracked her skull on a rock and died. Now, we’re in the group of ladies sitting alone, just the two of us at a table. The “attention seeker” goes on to compare herself to me. “We’re the same age,” she says. Do you get this? Who does this? I’m sure, at this point, she doesn’t realize I can see right through her. She’s had a half-a-dozen husbands, and by-the-way, the old ladies most recent husband, she tells me, was told by a friend not to marry her.
One Christmastime evening, we’re at her place for a gathering where she plays her instrument. Her husband is sitting to the side alone. After she plays a long series of unfamiliar Christmas songs, she expects her followers to sing to, she stands up then sits before her group alone on a piano bench in the middle of her group. Her husband is still sitting to the side alone. He never says or does anything. Okay. She’s the head of the house, sitting in the middle of her group. Another time, I went to her house when her husband was there in the morning. He left claiming he was going to work. She fixed me a cup of coffee. Suddenly, I became light-headed and dizzy. I didn’t say anything. I knew she put something in my coffee. I had never had an experience of light-headed dizziness in my life. Narcissists secretly want to kill you when they realize they’ve been discovered. You’ve identified them. Their losing control. Research it. Lack of empathy. She actually said once, at a church Bible study, in front of everyone while I was sitting next to her, she said she is jealous. No one said anything. Is this what born again Christians do? Confess? What is she jealous of?
Up until now, she has been adamant how she wants her husband to be friends with my newly married to second husband. I’m new in the area, by the way, only less than a year or a little more. She’s been living here in this rural area her entire life, mostly in the same house she acquired from her second husband. Her sixth husband has no friends, she says. Her husband is Christian but doesn’t attend any church denominations. He follows podcasts of mostly female so-called prophets. My husband doesn’t hunt fish or have any hobbies. He tells her that we have enough food in the freezer anyways. He isn’t going elk or deer hunting.
The “attention seeker” is continually big on her athleticism and sexuality. Her husband has bat ears and a hook nose but brings up the subject with me several times about “how to lose weight,” like anyone asked him. And he’s calling me a lot. He would just pick up the phone and call me. Okay?
In all my years, after so many girlfriends nationwide from church, universities, places of employment, in business, all in major metropolitan cities, even having had an inground pool for over 30 years, I have never met an “attention seeker” like this one, and she want to appear quiet and submissive. I’m now living in a low populated rural area too, one of the smallest towns in the USA.
She’s actually having a private conversation with my new husband about female Christian submissiveness. Really? I was entertaining myself with her at this point with all her creepy sexual crap. She was an adulterous with her first husband. Isn’t there a saying “a cheater is a cheater is a cheater?” (Matthew 5:28) Narcissists always wear “masks” don’t they? What you see ain’t what you get.
My husband and I are at my doctor’s appointment in the examining room alone. I’m sitting on the examining table, and he starts calling me “your majesty,” and kissing my feet,” I tell her when she calls me. It’s true. I’m kicking it up a notch and telling her about my “glorious clitorious” according to husband. I mean, I have never in my long lifetime been in a friendship with any woman who actually speaks of private sexual matters, but I am now. I’m feeling extremely creeped out with it too.
She calls and tells me she’s getting in her above-ground-pool in her bikini one day. Why do you think she is telling me this? She goes out three times a week alone playing sports with men; while her “a nice man” she calls her Christian husband, her sole support, sits alone at home. I hear about all her crushes at her local sports club. This is the Christian old lady conducting Bible studies. I “save face.” I keep all of this to myself. I’ve not spoken to date to anyone including my husband once, until recently telling a friend a few things because she asked about her. She said something about hurt feelings; when I realized the “attention seeker” is gossiping.
She’s not talking to our mutual elderly friend about her sexual creepiness; only me, and they’ve been friends for longer, I find out. Our mutual friend invites me to a Christmas concert at a church, but whatever you do don’t tell her, I’m instructed. She was playing her instrument and was fired at that church. Reminder, she’s controlling. She’s jealous, you think? These two women are newly met by me too. I’m the new girl in town. These are born again Christians I’m in the midst of.
Then at another Bible study I’m part of at another church, the “attention seeker” I invited, walks into the church in a mini skirt, two inches below her vagina and sits down. Lord have mercy, I’m thinking. After the meeting, she leaves early and the Bible study conductor during prayer mentions modesty at the onset of her prayer. Up to this point, my husband, this Bible conductor and another have been like, okay, coochee woochee, what’s up? I’m her friend. Mention Christian modesty. She takes it to an all-time high. She cannot handle it. She acts like I’m lying. She wants to hear the details.
In Christianity, modesty is broadly understood as an attitude of humility, self-control, and respect for God, extending far beyond just appearance. The Bible outlines principles for the heart as well as the body. It’s about inward character beyond outward appearance. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 advises women and men to dress with modesty and self-control, focusing on modesty as a demonstration of godliness and good deeds. Imagine an Islamic woman in head covering seeing an old lady like her dressed in a mini skirt with her coochee woochee in full view. We all have to learn to think outside the box, don’t we?
As the world turned this story continued. I put it all in writing with a letter to her ‘nipping it in the bud.” Evidence, from a legal professional. Her feelings got hurt. Too bad. I’m not here to carry you. Jesus is. The Bible explicitly commands that if we have a conflict with a fellow believer, we should address it with them privately first. I did. The goal is to resolve the misunderstanding, avoid gossip, and seek reconciliation between each other in Christ. I brought this out in the letter. She didn’t follow God’s direction, but gossiped, back stabbed me, and proceeded to cause division between Christians; all other sins.
Did I tell you, the married to a Christian “attention seeker” asked my husband, not hers, about “what speaking in tongues is about?” (1 Corinthian 14:34-35) He’s not a Pentecostal. A Christian’s discernment by experience will always give a sense of dread, like a dark spirit present, an awareness to proceed with caution by Holy Spirit when around anyone that gives them the creeps. It works well.
Never forget. There are three kinds of humans: non-believers, carnal Christians and spiritual Christians. You need two essentials to survive through life in one piece; a sense-of-humor and Jesus. Amen
Always Christian with love at Anne Fisher Foundation. Women Protecting Women and Children