It was 1993 in Phoenix, Arizona when I first met my best friend, Marlene Nettles at the Sunny Slope Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Marlene Nettle’s mom was a first generation American from Trinidad. Marlene was tall, slender and special. She wore her kinky black hair short. Her mom always said Marlene could be a model. She was much more than model material. She was Marlene.
Marlene was the single mother of Noelle and Oliver. When we first met, she was living in an apartment by the Kingdom Hall. She was not receiving child support of any kind, and was cleaning the fancy-schmancy homes of professionals, mostly in Scottsdale and Paradise Valley. Her biggest client was an attorney of notability. A self-employed housekeeper is perfect for a Jehovah’s Witness because we had five meeting a week, and field service; going out to make disciples too.
Marlene was an attentive strict and loving mother. She was a worshipper of Jehovah, spiritual-minded to the extent she was becoming a little critical of others in the congregation and maybe a little self-righteous. She was being emotionally tormented at her congregation by some creepy lady who had it in for her, I recall. This was extremely vexing for her. She never gossiped or was a backbiter and was extremely well-bred and intelligent, industrious and had definite opinions on the proper behavior of fellow Christians. Marlene was the sole support of her children, maintained her Bible studies, conducted Bible studies, and never missed a meeting at the Kingdom Hall.
After a few years into our friendship, I had moved into my home in Glendale. Then a few years after that, Marlene bought her first home in the historic Willow neighborhood of central Phoenix. She bought a 3 bedroom, 2 bath red brick ranch with two fire places and a little guest house in back. I recall she purchased it with a first time buyers, no down payment program. I was absolutely excited for her and we talked about the remodel of this and that in the home. There was even a small beehive oven/fireplace in the master bedroom which had French doors going out to the patio in the back yard with massive trees draping over the green grass. She did well with that stunning house with good bones and a lot of character. I didn’t know until then how creative Marlene was. She had an eye. She remodeled the kitchen with green cabinetry and asked me what the name of the color green she was thinking about for the living room. Outstanding ! All of her furniture was vintage pine and a fine selection of small pieces she picked up here and there. The home was about 1,200 square feet. Marlene was doing very well.
I, on the other hand, was doing well too. I created and owned Go Fish Enterprizes, llc. Still do. I created a subsidiary company called Handymen & Movers and another Anne’s Design and Consign. I had the brains and my husband, Michael had the braun. The Pet Shop Boys song called “Opportunities, “Let’s Make Lots of Money,” sounds like us. Did I tell you, I’m an entrepreneur.
My husband, Michael was the hardest working man ever born. He was a quiet, humble man, unintimidating, kind and sensible. He never once swore in front of me or my daughter, ever. He knew how to handle anything with any customer, even sometimes me, but not always. We had trucks with lift gates, 24 foot tow behind trailers and lived on an acre, the original Arrowhead Ranch home and parked trucks in back or in front with a view to everyone driving past on Union Hills Drive with big lettering, Handymen & Movers across the front and two cows saying, “WE MOOOVE YOU.” 602-439-4567 was the number to call and we always always always answered the phone.
About this time with Marlene, Michael would have his crew starting early because of the heat in the Arizona summer packing trucks in 115 degree weather. Running too. It’s a skill packing a truck. It’s a liability if it’s not done correctly too and damage a customers priceless possessions. That never happened once. I would tell him slow down, your going to get heat exhaustion. He liked to impress me when I visited a job site. He did. He’d walk in the house at the end of the day and slap a couple grand in cash on the desk, “For you !” he’d say. Now that’s a man. I’d hand him a beer to relax with.
A couple of years or so after Marlene bought her house, she rang me when I was in Lake Forest, Illinois, the north shore suburb of Chicago on Lake Michigan where I owned a condominium I invested in, and had just bought 272 Ahwahnee Lane in Lake Forest, in my name only, with no money down for $515,000. I had perfect credit and a sizeable income. I was going to flip the home, which I did. It was on 3/4 of an acre valued at $700,000.
Marlene was having health problems when she called from Phoenix and asked me about “urgent care.” She had two children and no medical insurance. Not good. She finally went to urgent care and they told her she had a sinus infection. Marlene was calling out to me for help, but never actually asked for help. She was that kind of woman, independent and strong, but didn’t know how to ask for help. Just like me.
I’m still in Lake Forest and the next thing I know, I’m getting a call from Noelle, her fabulous 17 year old self-made chef with a catering service. Noelle tells me Marlene came home from work, put her Honda Accords steering wheel lock on and went straight to bed. Two days later, Noelle and Oliver were carrying her to the bathroom. She couldn’t walk. Next thing I hear, Marlene is in intensive care at the Maricopa County General Hospital in Phoenix, unconscious. I rushed home from Chicago to be by Marlene’s side. When I was there by her bedside, I was talking to her and she was making a lot of moaning sounds while I held her hand. I know she heard me.
I go home. Then the very next morning, I’m told the witness elder, she barely really knew, who she had given her medical directive to years before we were best loving friends, had the life support plugs pulled, just like that. Marlene died. Just like that. It was 2004. Marlene Nettles was 40 years old. 1 Peter 1:24 “All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall.” Psalm 103:15-16 “As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, And it’s place remembers it no more.” (Psalm 103:15-16) Knowing you, my beloved friend, I would have waited forever just to hold your hand. BTW Marlene, the Jehovah’s Witness married elder who gave the okay to stop your life support was having an emotional affair with a pioneer sister. They were spending hours alone in service going on return visits and door to door. One day at service meeting he was saying he was “masturbating.” Always, always remember to qualify your audience moron. The moron’s wife, my other friend was spending all her time buying at garage sales. She resorted to materials. Phoenix is the garage sale capital of the world. Her “creep” elder husband ? Need I say more ? He was gay !!
The attorney Marlene worked for rang me, and asked me what I thought about him filing a lawsuit for Marlene’s children due to the medical malpractice fact, Marlene was misdiagnosed at an urgent care and the kids now had no money. She didn’t have a sinus infection. She had a tumor growing on her spine at the back of her neck. I really didn’t know what to tell him at the time. I was mourning the death of my best friend, MARLENE NETTLES ! He never called back.
Noelle became a renowned chef with a catering service. Marlene taught her well. In Marlene’s hard earned kitchen, Noelle became a self-taught master chef. Oliver married a Jehovah’s Witness. My Lily was Oliver’s first kiss, but my Lily didn’t like the fact Oliver called her up the next day. I’m remembering how Lily jumped on Oliver’s back on the floor at home. Mixed signals.
I recall telling Noelle once, having been born in the “mind-control cult” of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, I told her this, “Noelle, marry only in the Lord. It doesn’t have to be a Jehovah’s Witness, although they tell you it does, it doesn’t. Just marry a Christian man of good moral character. That’s what marrying only in the Lord means.” She did. (1 Corinthians 7:39)
Marlene Nettles never told me that she had lost her two year old son who had died before we met. She never told me. I found out from Noelle. That’s why Marlene was the picture of perfect in everything she put her hand to, especially her worship of Jehovah, her God. Marlene had suffered, endured, ran the race for life everlasting and MARLENE WON THE RACE TO THE FINISH LINE !
“I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” (John 17:3, 2 Timothy 4:7-8)
RIP MARLENE. THERE WAS NO ONE LIKE YOU, CREATED, CHOSEN BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN AN EMBRYO FOR EVERLASTING LIFE WITH JESUS. AMEN.